A few weeks ago I posted my concerns about how I was going to deal with my neighbour who is now 12 weeks pregnant.
Rach (over at The Miss Ruby) suggested just sitting down for a chat and laying it all out. Brew Man agreed that this was a good idea – but I’ve been a little chicken about getting around to it.
So on Friday – I did it. We had a chat after work – I explained that if sometimes I don’t comment on a related FB post or if sometimes I seem a little distant – it wasn’t that I didn’t care, more that it was hard to see someone go through what we so desperately want. She knows our history (she was a borrower of my lucky fertility books) and was worried about offending us.
And you know what?
I am actually really comfortable being around her and the bump.
I’m excited and really happy for them.
I’m not apprehensive or jealous or angry.
Surprised? I am! I don’t know why, since with other pregnancies at my work place it has been really tough, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth 🙂
ETA: Brew Man just read this post (on my request) and had an insight. Perhaps I’m having these positive feelings because I genuinely like our neighbours – more than I like my in-law siblings – and that facilitates my genuine happiness. He’s pretty insightful 🙂
On the weekend, our lovely neighbours M&S announced their pregnancy after trying for a few months and borrowing my lucky conception books.
As soon as they announced – I’m fairly sure that my first reaction was something negative – sadness, anger, disappointment – all directed towards me and my stupid reproductive system – and jealousy (of course – they’ve got what we want damn it!)
I’ve been through 12 announcements in 3 years – we don’t have a wide circle of friends or colleagues – and the reaction is always the same. Though I think over the years I’ve managed to stifle that negative reaction down to a split second. During the early days I’d usually leave the room and bawl my eyes out.
I think after that – my reaction is happiness – I’m not so sure whether I am actually happy or just so numb from it all and fake-happy.
I don’t even know how you tell the difference.
What’s your first reaction when you get the “great news” from friends?
Two years ago when I was receiving treatment at The Jocelyn Centre in Sydney I picked up 2 books – Natural Fertility and The Natural Way to Better Babies – both by Francesca Naish
The books are fantastic – lots of diet, supplement, cycle, mucous, mens fertility information and advice. Best conception and pre-conception books I’ve read.
I’ve lent the books to 2 friends looking to fall pregnant as pre-readers before they began TTC. One is Brew Man’s cousin B and her hubby D – she is severely obese and he’s been through testicular cancer and had a testicle removed. They borrowed the books back in 2009. The other is our lovely new neighbours M & S – both relatively young (early 30s) and healthy.
Each time I’ve lent out the books – within 3 cycles of borrowing them, a pregnancy has been announced. B&D had a healthy little girl last year – extremely cute and very smart!
The latest was today at a casual BBQ hosted by M&S for us and another young couple in our new housing estate. It’s only early days yet (5 weeks) but they are so excited and a little bit scared of what is to come.
The next in line for the books is a best friend from high school who is on her honeymoon right now. I’ve told her that couples who borrow the books fall pregnant very easily and quickly – she told me to hang on to them for a year before I give them to her! She’s never lived with her new hubby, so they’d like their first year to be the two of them before she goes off BC and takes possession of the lucky books.
Now – I’m happy that the books work and they seem to have some magical mystical powers – but why can’t they work on Brew Man and I? Could I be giving all my fertility luck away when I lend out these books?
Hopefully the universe/karma/the divine goddess of fertility can see all the help I give others in making their baby dreams come true and decides to pay some of it back in this lifetime 🙂
Oh – and if anyone wants to borrow my lucky books and is in Oz, let me know 😉