At the beginning of the week, Brew Man told me that. I was feeling a bit down after some PG announcements on FB and he asked me what was up. I was honest and told him that seeing those announcements makes me feel like a failure.
So, in the very grumpy mood he was in, he said “get over it”
Now – for a fact I know Brew Man is desperate to be a dad. I know he wishes we’d started trying earlier (I wanted to wait). I know most of the time he doesn’t know how to treat me when it comes to IF – and honestly, it’s a 50/50 as to whether I break down and cry or I bite his head off!
Anyways – I shrugged off his words at the time. But yesterday, it got me thinking. What don’t I do because of IF? What crazy irrational things that don’t make sense?
One of them is that I don’t watch How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) since the story line moved to Lilly & Marshall trying for a baby. I don’t really need to watch comedy about how hard (or easy) it is to get pregnant. But I miss the crazy antics of Barney – so last night, I watched. It wasn’t too bad, and no TTC related stuff was mentioned. Brew Man asked why we were watching the show and I told him that it was driven by his suggestion of “get over it”. He looked pretty ashamed that I had taken his words to heart and apologised – but maybe it was a pearl of wisdom.
Of course, during the ad breaks, plenty of baby ads were on – and I watched them.
Of course I had tears rolling down my cheeks for a few.
I came out of the 2 eps feeling like a battle hardened warrior. You see shit you don’t like, shit you can’t change – so you watch it with a hardened gaze and build a wall.
Sometimes the best way to protect yourself is to remove yourself from the situation – but maybe it’s time I started on my wall.