Not just a full moon!

Saturday night will be a Super Moon – the closest the moon has been to the earth since 1992.  Superstition says it heralds disaster – but the moon has always played a role in fertility.

Just like the moon affects the oceans and rivers in the form of tides – it can also affect anything that has a water content – like our bodies!  If you ever want your hair to grow faster – trim it in the 3 days leading up to the full moon.  The reverse applies as well – I once had a bad hair cut the day after the full moon and my hair grew so sloooowly.  It can get a bit more complex – with different signs of the moon – but that’s the general gist.

Anyways – I ramble – back to the moon!

Last month, a group of us on a TTC thread in the lovely Simple Savings forum decided to support a fellow member whose fertile period fell on the full moon by doing a nudie run. 

Yep.

Standing around in our backyards NAKED.  Starkers.  Sans garments.

Crazy you might say – but as many of you know, after long term TTC – you’re willing to give anything a go.

Now – there were no positive results – no one managed to get the big BFP that cycle – but it was a fantastically fun thing to do.  It felt amazingly free and wonderful.

Don’t worry – I’m not about to go join a nudist colony – but it was exhilarating!! (I’ve never been much of a public exhibitionist)

So – this Saturday we have another full moon – and I send a request out to the blogsphere to invite women everywhere to get naked in your back yards (or front yards if you don’t have neighbours!) and soak up some moon rays 🙂

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A new cycle, more announcements, and not very nice emails

I wasn’t surprised for AF to turn up on Sunday evening – no real EPS to speak of, and I’m not temping – so no obsessing over low temps (was it a one-off dip?  Or start of a downward decline?)

In any case, I’m still busy preparing for our new puppy, working endlessly on my PhD thesis and teaching which has helped keep my mind busy.

But I did get another pregnancy announcement yesterday – via FB of course!  My younger cousin and his wife are expecting.  Luckily – we don’t see that side very often – maybe once a year – and we’re not close.  So I’m bummed (more at the universe than my cousin) – but IRL there’s a lot more going on.

I’m a teacher/lecturer at University – and according to my student ratings and feedback, a pretty darn good one!  The words students most use to describe me are friendly, approachable, understanding – I’m a conduit for career advice, I mentor students who are disadvantaged, I mentor in our gifted students program.  All up, I think I do a pretty good job, I love my students and I work them hard.

This week I’ve received two abusive and threatening emails sent from an anonymous hotmail account in the last 3 days.  They have been threat assessed by the clinical pyschology unit to determine whether they hint at violence or physical confrontation – they believe the sender is a coward and is unlikely to create a situation – but I’ve warned those working in my subject to be aware of any students that seem unusually angry with our assessment (amazingly, the student is upset that I’m making everyone prepare homework each week!).

I’ve had plenty of people at work as me if I’m ok – and I think generally I am.  I’m using humour a lot to deflect the stress – but I’m still worried.  Security has instructed that no unknown persons be given access to my office and to not let anyone leave any packages in there either.  They’ve offered to provide escorts between class rooms if I feel in danger as well.

A part of me is worried for the mental health of this poor student, but another part wants to just give them the finger!

Ok – that’s enough of my rant – I suppose I just needed to get it off my chest!  Thanks for listening all 🙂

Hi! My name is Ziva :)

Brew Man and I would like to introduce the newest member of our family – Ziva!

She was born 4 Jan 2011 and is a Capricorn like Brew Man and I.  She’s very inquisitve – but doesn’t need to be the centre of attention.  This will be perfect for when I’m working from home and she’ll be in a play pen or crate in my office 🙂  She’s about the size of a football right now and very adorable!

Ziva comes home in the first week of April after her 2nd vaccination and vet checkup.  So far we have a few chew toys and crate, but we still need to pick up a bed, lead and collar and a few more cuddly toys.  We’re booked in for puppy school as well.

And just because I can’t resist – here are some more pics of her cousins 🙂  (Ziva is from a different litter)

Baby dust to all 🙂

Choose the sex of your baby for $11,000

An article today in the Sydney Morning Herald discusses a well known IVF clinic in Oz (Sydney IVF) who will help couples circumvent Australian law that prevents sex-selection for non-medical reasons by sending them to an IVF clinic they partly own in Thailand.  At this clinic, embryos are tested to find the sex of your choice to be implanted.

The government won’t legislate to stop people from travelling overseas for the procedure (and so they shouldn’t – people should be allowed choice).  However, in my state of NSW, a law has been enacted making it a criminal offence to travel overseas to engage a paid surrogate.  There seems to be some inequality in treatment!!

Anyways – that issue is a side note, this quote floored me though

The medical director at Sydney IVF, Mark Bowman, said the sense of ”loss and grief” felt by couples who could not conceive a child of the gender they desired was as strong as that felt by infertile couples.

Huh?!?  A couple that already has children in their lives, all of the one sex, feel the devasation, despair, depression and emptiness that infertile couples feel? 

A couple that already has had a baby (or babies) to cuddle, watched first steps, first words, first day at school, first time they go to the toilet on their own – feels the same emptiness as an infertile couple who watches with envy and jealousy as their friends cuddle newborns, see first steps, first words, first days?

I have first hand experience with this – good friends of ours have 3 boys and were hoping for a girl for their next.  She’s having another boy – we chatted and she said that she had a good cry at not having a girl – but felt thankful her son looked healthy in the womb. 

Now – she may not be like everyone – but surely missing a child of one gender in your family cannot be as painful as missing a child entirely in your life.

I’ll be writing a letter to Dr Bowman via his clinic – I wonder if he’ll read it?!

Handling the next 7 months

My next door neighbour is 10 weeks pregnant and goes for her first OB appointment tomorrow.  She has been one of my “lucky fertility book” recipients.

They announced to us and another couple at 5 weeks, they’ve told their folks but not a lot of other people – no FB announcement just yet!

Usually with FB I simply hide somone from my newsfeed.  At work I avoid people and communicate via the phone or email.  But how do I handle someone I see almost daily?  They helped us landscape our front yard, we’ve helped them with theirs.  Most weekends our neighbours some how meet up on someone’s front lawn for a chat about happenings in our area.

Right now I’m feeling ok.  There’s no bump to actively remind me.  But what do I do when there IS a bump? 

Could I turn around and walk the other way each time we run into each other?  Not sure that’s feasible – I don’t want to be rude.  Maybe just look to the side of her?

Any suggestions on dealing with someone else’s pregnancy every day?

(I feel disgusted by a tiny part of me that hopes for a blighted ovum – ugh I hate myself for being jealous)

Abortions are safter than having a baby – WTF?

The title of today’s blog comes from an article in the UK’s Daily Mail suggesting that:

The guidelines, from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, also say that most women who terminate a pregnancy will not suffer any psychological problems as a result.

Safe to say it’s probably been reported in a few places and there is plenty of commentary on the article itself.

I am a university lecturer and part of my job is to keep an eye on the welfare of my students.  A few years ago I counselled a young lady who was scheduled to have a termination a few days before the final exam – this would be her 3rd in 2 years.  She wasn’t a slut – these pregnancies were all with her husband – but he didn’t like using condoms and she refused to go on the pill.

I wanted to kill this girl – here are Brew Man and I – desperate to start a family – and there is a couple willing to throw away life so easily.  She didn’t think anything of having a termination.

When I read the article – I began to wonder. 

How many women who have terminations have trouble conceiving later on in life?  How many women feel guilt over their terminations?

I feel guilt over my miscarriage and my chemical pregnancies – what if I did something different?  I didn’t have that drink?  Didn’t over work myself?  Stressed less?

How would someone suffering through IF after terminations feel?

Try not to stress

Most times I see my lovely TCM practitioner N she tells me “try not to stress”.

After 3 years I’m actually pretty good about not stressing about TTC – yes it sits there in the back of my mind as a niggling thought – but I’m not doing my previous “obsess over TTC routine”

  • looking at my Fertilty Friend chart for hours on end willing it to show temp rises
  • scouring medical and alternative health journals for new studies that show some drug/supplement/other crazy idea that increases fertility
  • reading every post on IF forums
  • forcing Brew Man to get busy even when we really don’t feel like it – cranky, exhausted, sick (nothing more romantic than trying to seduce your hubby when you have a chest infection)

Hell, I’m not even taking my BBT any more! 

*Sigh*

So my stress these days comes from 3 letters that are the bane of my existence – *P* *h* *D*

My supervisor thinks only a few more months and I’m done – but the last 2 weeks I’ve been having a terrible time writing.  You know how sometimes you see the light at the end of the tunnel but it’s a train coming to run you over?  Nothing I write sounds half-intelligent!  And a small deadline looms in 5 hours.

Strangely – I’ve had more success writing in the last 1.5 hrs than I have had in weeks.  The secret – I’m sitting in a busy McDonalds in the middle of Sydney with their free WiFi (I’ve tried McDonalds in the burbs near my house but it’s not the same – maybe it’s all the bogans).  It could be the smell of all those trans fats…. I hear that chicken nuggets worked for Usain Bolt